Probably no surprise to anyone who knows anything about starting an NGO (or any sort of corporation not-for-profit or for-), my (our) new project has stagnated, probably not to be revived. I still feel mostly convinced that it was based on a good idea, it was supposed to operate in communities that have a lot of potential and energy that could otherwise be wasted, and was addressing actual needs with programs that were highly appropriate to the context. If anyone out there has a few thousand dollars and a lot of organizing energy laying around, and wants to invest it in slum communities in India, please let me know. Thoughts about that organization, and the one before it that I left in the spring, still hurt—a lot—but I can mostly avoid thinking of them. Lucky me.
Me, I’ve mostly retreated from the whole “program” thing, into a world of research and theories and proposals. Doing social science (of the RCT variety) in one of the biggest cities in India, it’s a relief to mostly write grants, write surveys, clean data, run do-files, and still go out at night with a group of friends (who are not my co-workers). Might be less of a relief in the next months as I’m managing survey and fieldwork teams 7am-9pm, 7 days a week, but honestly, and I’m a terrible person to both my current and previous job for saying this, it’s really great to be doing something I don’t actually care about.
It’s not that I don’t care at all. Intellectually, I really couldn’t be that much more engaged (at least, without someone forcing me to read 400 pages of theory each week in addition to my other work). I work with people who are pretty much universally agreed to be the biggest geniuses/rockstars/“experts” in their field, all of my coworkers (who, blessedly, each have their own projects so there is no toe-stepping) are mini-geniuses destined for great things, and our regular meets and drinking are deliciously nerdy. My project is full of interesting challenges, and I’ve found out I really like writing surveys (or, at least the first draft. The 8th draft after two months and one day before the launch is a little less fun), asking interesting questions, teasing out relationships and pathways and connections.
I got a motorcycle. I have friends, a stable place to live, time to myself, plenty to do with friends and visitors, I live in one of the world’s great cities, and I even have some time to travel (and a salary which is below the poverty line, but way more than I really need to get by). I’m content, maybe even happy.
Probably time to move on. I’ve gotten my applications for grad school (MPH) done, and this year I’m promising myself not to freak out a month before school starts, and actually attend (yeah I’ve got and will have even more loans, but who doesn’t). I do fantasize about my job literally being to sit and read and think and talk and write all day, and I’m going to really enjoy this degree. I’ve even made tentative plans to get a PhD afterwards, and hopefully never again need to leave school, but we’ll see how much I like it in two years. No need to rush into these kinds of things.
I’m in a very different place than I was three years ago, but at least I’m still in the same field. I think I’ve made more than my share of mistakes for a 25-year-old (thank god I don’t have kids, or I probably would have seriously fucked up. better to get it out of my system now), but I’m figuring out where I’m happy, and where I’m useful. The world probably doesn’t need another American fieldworker drinking in hotels in tropical cities, but hopefully there’s some room for one more clueless academic.
filings
- activism (1)
- alterity (1)
- altern (1)
- beauvoir (1)
- bolivia (1)
- care (1)
- chagas (1)
- community (2)
- defining needs (4)
- development (1)
- discourse (1)
- feminism (1)
- gender theory (2)
- identity (2)
- india schtuff (3)
- individual (1)
- irigaray (1)
- msf (1)
- navel-gazing (5)
- neo-liberalism (1)
- NGO (2)
- other (1)
- philosophy (1)
- plan (2)
- planning (2)
- poverty (1)
- society (1)
- uninteresting rambles (4)
Showing posts with label uninteresting rambles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label uninteresting rambles. Show all posts
If you can't, teach (or yammer on interminably on the internet)
3:42 PM | Filed Under india schtuff, navel-gazing, NGO, uninteresting rambles | 1 Comments
defining needs ii: defining community
yeah, so, started the "miniseries" a few months ago when i had an office job in dc and was getting pumped to go to grad school. then didn't go to grad school, got a job in delhi, and have been somewhat busy/distracted since.
but! the job involves a lot of academic research, into the effects of various types of voter education campaigns in slums in india's capital city, which while interesting in its own right, has me thinking a lot about defining community. chris blattman in a (quote in a) recent post touched on what i am going to say baldly: identities, whether individual or group, are created by exclusions. this is true whether you're defining your own (i am this because i am not that) or someone else (they are that because they are not this).
the logical analogy at this point would be to say that identity:individual :: community:group (roughly--i know it's not perfect). but the problem is that looking at even individual identity, one "identity" is actually composed of multiple overlapping identities--loose affiliations with different groups (language, gender, region, occupation, political, etc.) or one's relation to others (mother, loner, leader, etc.). individual identities always, by definition almost, relate a person to other people around him/her.
it would be great if you could extend that to the group/community level, saying everyone sharing one particular identity (language, for example) is a community. two problems with that are that first, it's hard to say who "shares" a specific (in this case linguistic) identity--do you need to speak it from birth, speak it fluently, speak it predominantly, speak it most comfortably, speak it in a certain way (even ignoring the blurry lines between different linguistic varieties); second, this identity is just one of many that the individuals in this group may have--they may be divided by religion, income, nationality, race, gender, education, occupation, etc.
the largest theoretical "problem" (for me) with community, though, is the exclusionary action of this definition. dominant groups (eg, white english-speaking males in the US) usually have the luxury of having their community defined at the most basic level of societal structure, allowing them to exist as the "unmarked" or the "norm", thus discursively becoming the only "neutral" observers, and in many ways becoming the ultimate arbiters of culture (and politics, etc). "ethnic" communities exist often in order to preserve or promote their community in the face of the normalisation of the dominant group, but in this way often cause their group to become, by definition, marked and subordinate (or think of the rite of "coming out" in the gay community, by which one marks oneself as "not-normal", with the assumed sexuality being heterosexual in the absence of such a process. but i digress).
so communities are problematic--but why are they useful, and how are they used? for me, in my work, they're useful because they are a way of segmenting the mass of "everyone in the world" into discrete, manageable groups, setting boundaries to my work or study. by defining one group as the "target population" (ignoring for the moment the way in which that designation is made), you can set boundaries to what you will and will not work on, and with whom you will and will not work. by naming one group as the target, you implicitly place another group or groups out of bounds.
usually, these groups are recognized (by me, the person who has really no business being there) by self-identification--if someone says they're one thing, they're that thing. this is really a great and not-great way to do things. on the plus side, at least you're not putting people in boxes that they wouldn't put themselves in (as long as you're not pressuring them to choose something when the distinction is meaningless to them--see the colonial history of nigeria (or a lot of the rest of africa) for examples of this).
on the negative, it takes a lot of time, and a lot of talking to people, and usually a lot of dead ends. i worked in pune for a couple years, in one slum, and with only two communities. in the end, i got to know pretty much everyone living within a couple of kilometers of there by sight, and got to know the boundaries between different self-identified groups there. but, i don't know the right word for these "groups" in marathi, hindi or even english. the point is, i couldn't go in there and simply ask "to which group do you belong in regards to x dimension?", but rather relied on knowledge passed to me from my colleagues and months of face-to-face discussions in homes, getting to know genealogies, accents, naming patterns and the historical memories of people. on top of that, there was never (ever) a clear and all-encompassing consensus on who was in one group and who was in another. sub-groups, groups that may or may not have been the same but broke off in the past, personal feelings, and the context of the conversation always affected answers, and couldn't really be taken into account.
for my job now, we're working on a "complete" descriptive accounting of the life of the urban poor in delhi (a city of between 12 and 15 million, depending on who and how you ask). this will take a lot of surveys, a lot of pseudo-ethnography, and eventually an identification of group "informants" to answer questions about the "community" as a whole. i've yet to wrap my head around a decent way to decide who is able to speak for a community, and apply that in 100 (at least) different areas of the city. defining a community is difficult enough, especially given that different overlapping communities may form for different purposes--linguistic communities of migrants living near one another, or a community of women who access services at the same community centre, or a community of men working at a cluster of mechanics shops, or a religious community comprised of persons speaking many different languages.
my colleagues have often said that this is going to be "fairly easy, if time consuming", that we can go into an area, generally ask around for the "leader", and once a consensus begins to emerge, interview that person. i'm afraid that that approach is going to leave out a lot of very interesting variation, especially if we prompt people by giving examples of leadership (in political affairs, for example).
at least that's a bridge to cross when we come to it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
related posts:
defining needs i: defining poverty
Burn it to the Ground; or, Defining Needs: The Miniseries
but! the job involves a lot of academic research, into the effects of various types of voter education campaigns in slums in india's capital city, which while interesting in its own right, has me thinking a lot about defining community. chris blattman in a (quote in a) recent post touched on what i am going to say baldly: identities, whether individual or group, are created by exclusions. this is true whether you're defining your own (i am this because i am not that) or someone else (they are that because they are not this).
the logical analogy at this point would be to say that identity:individual :: community:group (roughly--i know it's not perfect). but the problem is that looking at even individual identity, one "identity" is actually composed of multiple overlapping identities--loose affiliations with different groups (language, gender, region, occupation, political, etc.) or one's relation to others (mother, loner, leader, etc.). individual identities always, by definition almost, relate a person to other people around him/her.
it would be great if you could extend that to the group/community level, saying everyone sharing one particular identity (language, for example) is a community. two problems with that are that first, it's hard to say who "shares" a specific (in this case linguistic) identity--do you need to speak it from birth, speak it fluently, speak it predominantly, speak it most comfortably, speak it in a certain way (even ignoring the blurry lines between different linguistic varieties); second, this identity is just one of many that the individuals in this group may have--they may be divided by religion, income, nationality, race, gender, education, occupation, etc.
the largest theoretical "problem" (for me) with community, though, is the exclusionary action of this definition. dominant groups (eg, white english-speaking males in the US) usually have the luxury of having their community defined at the most basic level of societal structure, allowing them to exist as the "unmarked" or the "norm", thus discursively becoming the only "neutral" observers, and in many ways becoming the ultimate arbiters of culture (and politics, etc). "ethnic" communities exist often in order to preserve or promote their community in the face of the normalisation of the dominant group, but in this way often cause their group to become, by definition, marked and subordinate (or think of the rite of "coming out" in the gay community, by which one marks oneself as "not-normal", with the assumed sexuality being heterosexual in the absence of such a process. but i digress).
so communities are problematic--but why are they useful, and how are they used? for me, in my work, they're useful because they are a way of segmenting the mass of "everyone in the world" into discrete, manageable groups, setting boundaries to my work or study. by defining one group as the "target population" (ignoring for the moment the way in which that designation is made), you can set boundaries to what you will and will not work on, and with whom you will and will not work. by naming one group as the target, you implicitly place another group or groups out of bounds.
usually, these groups are recognized (by me, the person who has really no business being there) by self-identification--if someone says they're one thing, they're that thing. this is really a great and not-great way to do things. on the plus side, at least you're not putting people in boxes that they wouldn't put themselves in (as long as you're not pressuring them to choose something when the distinction is meaningless to them--see the colonial history of nigeria (or a lot of the rest of africa) for examples of this).
on the negative, it takes a lot of time, and a lot of talking to people, and usually a lot of dead ends. i worked in pune for a couple years, in one slum, and with only two communities. in the end, i got to know pretty much everyone living within a couple of kilometers of there by sight, and got to know the boundaries between different self-identified groups there. but, i don't know the right word for these "groups" in marathi, hindi or even english. the point is, i couldn't go in there and simply ask "to which group do you belong in regards to x dimension?", but rather relied on knowledge passed to me from my colleagues and months of face-to-face discussions in homes, getting to know genealogies, accents, naming patterns and the historical memories of people. on top of that, there was never (ever) a clear and all-encompassing consensus on who was in one group and who was in another. sub-groups, groups that may or may not have been the same but broke off in the past, personal feelings, and the context of the conversation always affected answers, and couldn't really be taken into account.
for my job now, we're working on a "complete" descriptive accounting of the life of the urban poor in delhi (a city of between 12 and 15 million, depending on who and how you ask). this will take a lot of surveys, a lot of pseudo-ethnography, and eventually an identification of group "informants" to answer questions about the "community" as a whole. i've yet to wrap my head around a decent way to decide who is able to speak for a community, and apply that in 100 (at least) different areas of the city. defining a community is difficult enough, especially given that different overlapping communities may form for different purposes--linguistic communities of migrants living near one another, or a community of women who access services at the same community centre, or a community of men working at a cluster of mechanics shops, or a religious community comprised of persons speaking many different languages.
my colleagues have often said that this is going to be "fairly easy, if time consuming", that we can go into an area, generally ask around for the "leader", and once a consensus begins to emerge, interview that person. i'm afraid that that approach is going to leave out a lot of very interesting variation, especially if we prompt people by giving examples of leadership (in political affairs, for example).
at least that's a bridge to cross when we come to it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
related posts:
defining needs i: defining poverty
Burn it to the Ground; or, Defining Needs: The Miniseries
3:07 PM | Filed Under community, defining needs, navel-gazing, uninteresting rambles | 0 Comments
Defining Needs I: Defining Poverty
So the first definition that needs to be dealt with (and the one that started me on this trail) is "poverty" (which I'm taking to be the noun form of the adjective "poor", without significantly changing the meaning). So it's not entirely easy to explain my thought process as I fell asleep last night, but it started at this post over at Alanna Shaikh's Blood and Milk blog, specifically the last comment (as of this writing) about the "conundrum"--giving Knicks jerseys to kids at refugee camps can be exploitative and degrading, but so can telling "poverty tourists" (which, already, I'd put right up there with the Smithsonian's placement of an exhibit on "African culture" in the natural history museum) not to share food or even eat in front of residents during their tours. So, basically, distributing excess can be/is problematic as can be/is not distributing it (even though you're trying to avoid the first problem--and round and round we go).
Stepping back, you can see this is all based on a certain definition of poverty as a lack of resources (whoah that was a jump, but stay with me here). We (you know the "we", us rich, usually white, often male people who are almost invariably healthy citizens of countries in the global north) shy away from both of these issues because it makes us uncomfortable (or, maybe not uncomfortable enough) that we're forced to dehumanize other humans in order to address their needs (as we perceive them) for more resources--they lack things, we should therefore give them things, but that causes problems, and therefore we feel bad either way. Still with me?
So yeah, I think the "poverty is a lack of resources" or even "poverty is a lack of access to resources" definition is somewhat problematic. I generally prefer a definition (that I by the way did not come up with, but cannot for the life of me remember who did, so I can't be a good person and correctly cite this) that states "poverty is a lack of freedom". "Freedom?!" you say, "But, doesn't that mean youre some sort of crazy Bush-y neo-imperialist neo-con?!" My response there would have to be a polite "No, and I'm not even a libertarian".
So what's up with that? Basically, poverty often (always is such an ugly word) stems from a lack of freedoms--freedom to live somewhere in peace, and freedom to move in search of greener pastures; freedom to eat a healthy diet, or access basic (or even not-so-basic) medical care; freedom to send your kids to school, and to work in a dignified and economically-rewarding way; generally the freedom to live or die where, when and under those conditions as you see fit. Lack of freedom is both a symptom and a cause of what we call poverty, or I think it can be stated that lack of freedom begets more lack of freedom, in a self-perpetuating cycle, and in many ways can be seen to be synonymous with poverty. Handily, lack of resources is one (but certainly not the only) cause of poverty, which means yes, at least not all is lost with a lot of current development-think. However, other possible causes of poverty (via lack of freedom) are (in NO PARTICULAR ORDER):
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Related Posts:
Introduction
Burn it to the Ground; or, Defining Needs: The Miniseries
- Being a woman
- Being not-white
- Being born on the wrong side of an imaginary line
- Speaking the wrong language
- Believing the wrong creation myth
- Juxtaposing your sexuality, external genitalia, manner of dress and/or manner of expression in a way that other find unappealing
- Otherwise being defined as "not normal"
- Et cetera, et cetera, et depressing cetera...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Related Posts:
Introduction
Burn it to the Ground; or, Defining Needs: The Miniseries
1:34 PM | Filed Under defining needs, navel-gazing, poverty, uninteresting rambles | 2 Comments
Burn it to the Ground; or, Defining Needs: the miniseries
So I need to write a series of posts about my own process (which I'm trying to go through again, right now) of defining the place of an international NGO in a poor community without defining said community as needy or said NGO as some god-like expert figure. Obviously, that process starts with a definition of the terms I just used ("community", "poor", "expert", "needs" and "place" are gonna be key words here, since I'm pretty OK with the standard definitions of international and NGO, or at least, OK enough that it's not going to come into play here).
The partial disclaimer to this is that I'm working with a start-up NGO that's based in the US and India (unfortunately, I'll bet you can already guess the dynamic there), and specifically thinking about one community in one slum in one city, and I've not decided yet whether I can name any or all of them--at the very least, please assume there's a lot more concrete thinking going on behind the scenes than you're going to see here. So, yeah, quick update about what's going on, and now it's time to actually think.
The partial disclaimer to this is that I'm working with a start-up NGO that's based in the US and India (unfortunately, I'll bet you can already guess the dynamic there), and specifically thinking about one community in one slum in one city, and I've not decided yet whether I can name any or all of them--at the very least, please assume there's a lot more concrete thinking going on behind the scenes than you're going to see here. So, yeah, quick update about what's going on, and now it's time to actually think.
1:19 PM | Filed Under defining needs, navel-gazing, NGO, philosophy, planning, uninteresting rambles | 1 Comments